why do i always get like this? i have pretty much everything i need in life at this very moment..i’m just a spoiled brat with not enough things on my plate to keep me balanced. i need help and i have no one to help me. no one that truly gets me anymore. if only i could just be left alone in my room for a few days with a few bottles of downers..maybe then can my thoughts come to real life and let me shred them to pieces to never hit me back again. rationality was not made for a person like me. i just need love and i need a time to hurt until i can’t hurt anymore.
“If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next, don’t be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don’t waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; because you’ll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart… where your hope lives. You’ll find your way again.”—Everwood (via deepfriedjupiter)
The very fibers of my soul are aching, I honestly cannot handle these 180 mood flips anymore. One minute, I’m so very sure of everything & everything makes perfect sense, the next my face is being scraped hard across rock bottom. I don’t understand how things can change like that in such an instant, how my brain seemingly rewires itself in seconds. & the hating myself, even when I am happy. I’ve made one too many mistakes & I just want to disappear.